Several potential readers have arrived at Propeller Skies while searching for free mission statements. Because more stupid and pointless mission statements are exactly what the world needs now, I have put together the following free mission statements:

1. [Name of Corporation] strives to bend our customers over and fuck them in the ass with a cock big enough for an elephant by overcharging for defective and uninspired products, while cutting benefits and pay for American workers and replacing them with Chinese sweatshop labor when they complain; and
2. [Name of Corporation] will leverage synergies to provide sub par customer service and drive [Name of Corporation] into bankruptcy while providing golden parachutes for all senior executives.