The following list summarizes the myriad reasons my Acura is better than any woman ever made:
- It starts every time without protesting and requires only thirty seconds of warm-up;
- The car responds to input quickly and without complaint or superfluous discussion;
- Despite taking 91 octane gasoline, it is also much cheaper than a woman. An extra twenty cents a gallon is nothing compared to a Jimmy Choo habit;
- My Acura is eminently predictable and never moody;
- The vehicle never complains about stupid shit; and
- The car is extremely low maintenance and should run to 200,000 miles without complaint.
Upon further reflection, my Acura may even be better than booze. However, that is a topic for another post.
comments on “why my acura is better than any woman ever made”
Samantha says:
Smoove D says:
Good anger. Nice sarcasm, too.
Thanks. I had no idea there was a Mr. Fangs there, thanks for the tip.
Sapphire Cat says:
Not to mention, with skyrocketing gas prices, the higher octane is costing less and less, percentage-wise. There is undoubtedly a fancy economic term for this effect.
Seth says:
Hahahaha, I’m sure if it had a sex hole, lots more guys would marry their cars.
And the Acura does have a brain, no emotion though. Cold robot logic.
“Any woman ever made”, maybe you are talking about robots?
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“Any woman ever made”? What is she a blow-up doll? I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m thinking you don’t have a girlfriend. Gee, why?
1. No. She’s not a machine. She’s a human being. Fucktard.
2. Maybe you just aren’t interesting enough for your “woman” to respond to.
3. I can see why you find it necessary to pay for your women.
4. Again, HUMAN FUCKING BEING, pesky brain and emotions included. Asshole.
5. With you as its driver, I’m guessing it would if it could.
6. Sounds like you’re better off with the car, honey.
Anxiously awaiting your next brilliant commentary,
Samantha
p.s. Love the photographs! Have you caught Mr. Fangs at the connector between Dekalb Ave. and Moreland Ave.?