The south is like one giant dumpster overflowing with filthy, disgusting, immoral, and lazy white trash. A case in point would be my white trash neighbors, who once asked me for a jump, and also asked to borrow tools.

The other day, I arrived home to find my white trash neighbors had parked their bootleg car diagonally, taking up not one, not two, not three, but FOUR FUCKING PARKING SPACES. And premium spaces at that. This alone is not white trash behavior, but simply stupidity. What elevated this stunt beyond general dumbassery and into the elite realm of white trash behavior was the condition of the ghetto sled. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that one of the front tires was flat and the front of the car was smashed up a bit. If my neighbors were not white trash, they simply would have called triple goddamn A like normal fucking people and had the offending hooptie towed.