Saturday night, I ventured outside the perimeter (OTP) to attend a holiday party put on by my friend Angela. At the beginning of my journey I dropped into Mac’s, the best transit oriented liquor store in Atlanta, and picked up a fifth of Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. I figured I would be needing it to endure the myriad horrors of a trip OTP.

The highlight of the evening occurred when Charlie and I, fueled by Sweetwater 420 and Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky, respectively, decided to throw tangerines at cars passing by on a certain state route. Fortunately for the people in the cars, we were too far away drunk to hit anything.

Despite being OTP, the party was decent. As a function of being OTP, it was packed with MILFs. However, I did not bother getting any numbers, since they all lived in bungfuck Alpharetta. Unexpectedly, enough drama to provide an entire season worth of material for a WB series had gone down by the end of the night.