Wednesday night, I was hanging out OTP at Goldfish. Under normal circumstances, I would rather die than be caught OTP. However, we were throwing a going away soiree for a colleague and Goldfish was convenient.

After three so-called Finlandia Martinis, which were essentially glasses of chilled vodka with a twist, I was able to authoritatively state that Absolut Raspberri (AR) tastes like a barnyard. I know that AR tastes like ass because the AR marketing floozies were smokin’ hot. They were so damn hot that I almost retired to the restroom to rub one out. As we know from this previous post, the tastiness of a given beverage is inversely proportional to the hotness quotient of the marketing floozies. Therefore, it logically follows that AR is so disgusting my Swedish ancestors are spinning in their graves.

After three glasses of vodka, we decided to eat. Conveniently, Goldfish had a happy hour special involving fish, so we all ordered various types of fish. I had the Atlantic salmon, which was mighty tasty. As a side, I ordered macaroni and cheese, which was also fantastic. I recommend Goldfish, as the food is good. However, the place is full of geriatric motherfuckers, which is not surprising because the restaurant is OTP after all.